Mixed Messages Day 36: Outward vs. Inward

One of the most challenging aspects of writing a music album, is writing about personal struggles. The focus on self is what I struggle with. I find my energy level is much higher when using creativity to help others, when focusing on deep social issues. Outward looking saves me from myself. When my energy is used outwardly it flows in all directions, and good progress can be made for good reason.

Once that energy is turned inward, it searches. Sometimes, the endless introspection is draining. Sometimes, turning the energy inward creates bottlenecks and I get stuck. I think that's why when great artists say that the album took all they had, it's not hyperbole... They really mean it! There is a certain exhaustion that accompanies directing energy inward to find answers. By the time we finished our first album, I was tired from searching, digging up the past, and reassembling it over and over again. I'm finding that even though I'm extremely happy at the moment, directing my energy inward is causing tremendous strain. The best I can do is take it day by day, as we move closer to completion.

My admiration for other writers grows with each song. Those that have put their entire being on the line for decades, are extraordinarily brave. I hope that we can give as much as they have. Maybe they found a way to direct their energy outward, even while telling very personal stories. Maybe that pseudo depersonalization is a sign of professionalism, the answer I'm looking for.