Mixed Messages 80: Dilemmas

I've had many difficulties working on this album. I've changed my mind at least five times. What's it about? My heart can't decide. I thought I knew, then I didn't. In August, I rewrote the narrative by changing the direction. It felt right in my heart. Then I worried and worried and worried. And for the past two months, my body will not stop rejecting what it loved.


When working on a new song, I'll stop in the middle of a verse, as the pain arrives and interrupts.


So what's going on?


I think I'm afraid of being judged as crazy. I think fear is watering down the narrative.


But what's really going on?


When in question, I move toward niceties. Though it feels better, though it's the right thing to do, it's also sterile.


Seriously, what's going on?

Morally, I can't make that album. If what she said is true, I can't do it.



I want to love the story, but I want to be respectful. I'm caught in the middle and need to commit. Either go for it or forget it.