Mixed Messages 83: Urgency

"This album should sound like the city on a rainy night, underneath street lights. The screech and clack of the "L" in the background, thousands of connections and disconnections, the arrivals and departures, and a city that bottles up hopes and dreams, keeping them within its boundaries. Phased but unphased, changed but unchanged." It's got to be split. The departures then the arrivals. Or maybe it's the arrivals then the departures. It's hard to tell. The messages, mixed.


We sat in the car on the driveway. "Let's listen to the tracks." For as much as I dislike driving, it's one space where the music connects. So as soon as a song is complete, that's the place to go. It's a test: A formal review to see if the emotions are still true. The hours are gone, a sunken cost. So too is the energy, sweat and attention.


A half-moon hid behind the clouds, which were moving at a frenetic pace. In the middle of our reaction to the sound, we looked up, interrupted. The scenery, fitting... Eerie. Mysterious. Creepy. Then a few circles. We've been going in them for months. Spinning wheels, since being knocked off balance. And we've been...


"The first was an experiment."


As for dedication, we got finally go to it. How curious that we've been coasting, stuck in neutral, with untapped potential. Every practice goes well. That's not the problem. We still have the spark. That's not the problem. It's been difficult to carry focus for more than an hour. That's the problem...


What's different? The music is better. What's different? The writing is better. What's different? Urgency... That's what's missing. Urgency and uplift... the energy that carries focus from one space to the next. In Cleveland, we wrote from sun-up to sun-down. I'm against that behavior. But in exhaustion, we let the song sit on the tip of our tongue until we were reminded of the taste that was missing... And we dug deep. And we were excited about the smallest revision. And we wanted others to listen.


I want that feeling back. And I think we've figured out how to get it.