When you do it yourself, it's all on you. That much responsibility is not easy to accept. After all, it means there's little help when it's hard, and no one to blame when things go wrong. All you can say is, "It's my fault."
Although it can be a lonely, frustrating space, being able to choose a direction, being able to grow quickly with each experience, is certainly worth the pain.
A few reflections from the weekend:
After 24 days, we have 22 demos in various states of completion. Not all of the songs will make the album. Many will be changed, saved for the future, or discarded. The framework for the album, the concept, is nearly complete, but edits need to be made. Finalizing the concept is the most important thing I can do. It should... it must be the center of my attention until it's complete.
For all the progress, I have neglected parts of the project: The long form writings for the album remain mostly unstarted. A few stories, meaning two of them, are in draft form -- far from acceptable, far from polished. I obsess about taking a big step forward with the storytelling. I obsess about creating flow between the various disciplines of the project.
Moving forward is difficult, but it will be worth it.