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Mixed Messages Day 31: Avoided Conversations

It's officially Fall. Soon the colors will change, and a chill will replace the golden afternoons. I'm enjoying a sun soaked Sunday, trying to take it in before the grays take over. Following the ritual I began last weekend, I'm not writing or practicing. Once a week, I like to let the album breathe. I like to ask questions, before jumping back in on Monday.

 

Through my reflections, I discovered nearly every important life changing situation described in Mixed Messages was created by missing, or avoiding an important conversation. The problem is avoided conversations always surface later. The earlier that boundaries are established, the earlier that issues are discussed, the better. There is no "good time" to have them, and waiting only leads to being stuck at best, and pain at worst. Being present early is a form of generosity. It prevents hurt feelings later, and it also prevents the minor from becoming major.

 

It could be trying to do too much, but not explaining personal limitations. Or having a catastrophic event occur, but still trying to make a date, instead of taking a moment to pause, while disclosing and acknowledging what happened. Both the action and the avoided conversation are forms of fear. Fear says that others won't understand. Fear says that you need to be superhuman. Fear says that you can push on, even when you're hurt. In reality, an early conversation can prevent each situation from becoming a future problem. More importantly, all the people that truly matter won't mind, but will genuinely appreciate the discussion, and support you through the struggles.