The Pain of Chasing

Edits have started. Well at least the first round of edits. The editing process is one of the most tiresome and nerve wrecking parts of making music. It's also one of the most satisfying. 


Initial writing is about getting the idea down. No considerations, just free flowing feeling. Follow the emotion wherever it leads. Play sloppy. Find a melody. Sing words that make no sense. No judgement. No looking over the shoulder. Forget about what others think, we're all crazy anyway. All that matters is getting out of the way. 


But edits are different. Editing turns into madness because editing is about trying to find perfect (when we are all imperfect). 


Can we get there or are we going to fall short again? Will it turn out the way it's imagined? Can we find a way to say all the words that we know but cannot communicate?


Editing is about polishing the inner vision. What we hear, but can never quite express. Making chaos from order and order from chaos. 


What about dynamics? What about the chorus? How does it fit within the story? Have we lost perspective? Or should we give up and do normal things, get a nine to five, a home with a backyard, and two kids?


Should we walk away while it's still safe? Regular things sound good compared to the slow step by step. It's like getting kicked in the teeth, repeatedly. Is there any way to make it less painful?


In editing, we chase the feeling until all the failure turns into the story that makes us, us. We chase it until everyone that left comes back. We chase it until those that stopped caring, take notice. We chase it until we're "good enough". We chase it no matter what our family and friends think, especially the ones that hated the first release and said, "no one will ever listen to this".


But we stop as soon as we realize that all of that is in the past.


That's when the song is finished.


That's when it's time to move on...


(This week was spent revising a song called No Prisoner)